Two poems: “I Want” and “Now” by two authors named Loren

These poems capture who we were and who we are now in different ways. While they are not “I Am From” exactly, they fit into the search we are all making, taking in our past and our future.

I Want to Be More

By Lauren McIntosh, Harrisburg PA

I want to be more than I am

I want to be someone with their life set out in front of them

I want to be college-educated

I want to be successful

I want to be someone who can get out of their childhood home

I want to leave the place I am now

The place I still feel trapped in

I want to be someone who doesn’t have to worry

Someone who knows everything will be okay

Someone who can take a minute and relax

I want to have friends that check up on me

That ask me to hang out

That make me feel appreciated

I want to be someone that easily makes people smile

That makes people happy with my presence

Not someone that could be a burden

Or an outsider

I want to be away from all the troubles I have now

All the troubles from my past

All the worries of my future

I want to be able to express who I want to be

Without feeling like I’m pushing it too far

I want to feel like I’m worth more than I feel now

I want to laugh, and cry, and scream without invalidating my own feelings

I want to be better than I am

__________________________________________________________________-

The Sun Shines In My Direction

Lauren Stanton

Now I feel the rays of sun I once couldn’t

Now my mind is finally made up after so long

Now I have my spark back and I feel more alive

Now I don’t feel trapped, I feel like I can thrive

Now I can feel as free as the wind

Now I am from a place of happiness, not gloom

Now I feel that I am able to bloom

Now my life isn’t haunted by the everyday demons

Now my life is filled with new friendships and great accomplishments

Now I am able to feel the sweet breeze swinging by me

Now my feelings can become an art form, one now filled with glee

 Now I bask in the new relationships I have, and reflect on the old ones

Now the cold of the thumping rain feels freeing, even if the moments feel as though there fleeting

Now I’ve figured out that there’s still so much to do

Now even with a bounding routine, I feel not as blue

Now with being stuck in one place the surroundings are now chaos

Now even with the surrounding chaos I still feel free, like this was meant to be

Now watching barren streets out of the cars windows feels like the calm before the storm

Now as I can only communicate with the outside world via screen, I still feel seen

Now as I hide from my old life behind a screen, I still feel the suns comforting rays

Now as my shoes hit the pavement, I feel freer in my own weird little way

Now as my moments around new people get sparser, I feel as though I’m starting to miss it

Now the little things in life have become my most productive

Now I realize have more to do and less of my demons

Now I truly feel the suns rays shining their light onto me in this life

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